Coats and Stuff Or I am not a Imposter!

This week was the white coat ceremony and by this week I mean Saturday, this is one of those times when all of us SVM Students mumble about the MD students. You see the MD Kids got Friday off for there ceremony which didn't start till about 3pm, and lasted till around 5:30pm, so why did need to be at ours at 9:15am on Saturday after our full and I mean from 8am to 5pm of classes when they (MD) students couldn't be bothered to even have morning classes (I know there are about 250+ more of them but come on). Rant over, the White Coat was one of those things that some people get excited about, some just don't care (me), and some have to be talked in to going, but when you half listen to what most of the speakers are saying while whispering to the friends that you have only recently met (although you feel like you have known them for years). A stupid little voice pops up and says hey look your right here, right now, doing this thing that you have talked about doing almost your whole life, and that is when everyone starts smiling uncontrollable and stops listing to the speakers altogether (Sorry Speakers but i feel like you understand) it is this moment that I notice almost all the professors we have had so far sitting in the audience (which is a crazy thing to do when they 1. have only known our class for two and a half weeks, 2. could be sleeping in on there day off. and 3. have spent the last two and a half weeks with us! Non the less I really appreciate them coming out, now by this time my classmates are getting called up and the one that was not going to come is the first to be coated, and then we all watch and clap and cheer for our new friends (AKA Classmates) and then it's my turn and now I have a white coat on, and everyone is clapping and cheering for me just for a second, before I find myself sitting down again and clapping and cheering for everyone else again, then just like that it's over and almost everyone is going to the beach (not me I watched the Rolex24[Auto Race]).
Other stuff happened this week as well, like I got over whatever sickness is floating around the school, however that did lead to me having trouble falling asleep (because I was no longer drugged up at night) and the lack of sleep really effected my concentration in class which has lead to me having to study a bit more this week to keep up, but I am back in the sleeping grove and expect next week to go better.
Finale let me tell you all about Imposter syndrome (I know this is a long post but this is good info)
so like the name implies this is some mental thing where you can not internalize accomplishments, things like awards, grades, and praise (often attributing these things to luck). Also most people with Imposter syndrome have a very irrationally fear of letting people down, for the fear that if you don't over achieve and meet the high standards that you perceive people have. They will see you for the fraud that you are . I don't really know when I started feeling like I feel like it's gradual as your self doubt creeps in more and more, then one day you are always stressed about letting people down, but you also feel like you are not talented enough or smart enough so you procrastinate on everything and then you ether do well and attribute it to luck or you do poorly and now you've porven that your a imposter. ether way you lose and it can get very bad trust me I have been doing this for over a dacade, and I would still be doing it if not for SGU and the Proffesers here, who talked to us about imposter sysdrome. Thanks to that I have been able to put a name to that vocie of doubt, and starting to be happy with the work that I do. (to my Mom and Dad who I didnt tell about this before hand, Sorry the skype keept cutting in and out and there was a race on,) and to everyone Don't worry I am doing fine, I have tons of support.
Finle if you feel this why talk to someone even if it's your friends dog and understand three super important things, You did all that great stuff that you dont belive you did, you are not speacl no one is, and YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW!
(Click here for more info on Imposter syndrome)
(Click here to take the Imposter syndrome test we all took) I scored a 76
see you next week, and in till then be happy I am.☺