It's been a while but I am Some how back and I yet again writing in this, honestly fairly depressing blog. You might have noticed that I decided to spruce up the place so it would better match what actually gets written here, that is to say trashy despair with the odd ray of hope and some random stuff thrown in. And since I am talking about me blog I might as well remind you all that I have decided to move to a biweekly posting schedule, this is to try and cut out some of the straight up garbage random post that I was making far to often last term, this was mostly do to a lack of time to devote to the blog every week, moving forward I will be trying to right a mildly high quality of content (grammar however will probably remain at it's current low standards).
It is also so that I can open the floor to you my Dear Readers to write your own posts for this blog, since I know that at lest some of you will have read one of my post and thought I can do better, now is your chance without having to go though all the crap of starting a blog, writing a weekly/biweekly post, and posting it to social media so that everyone can judge you on how bad you are at writing. No all you would have to do Is email me your post in a Word Doc to GetAwayWithVetSchool@gmail.com, but don't get crazy about it if i don't have a guest post to post then there just won't be a post between my post's which again will be biweekly. (P.S. if you look at the side bar I added this email so you won't have to dig for this post later)
Okay so now that the house keeping is all out of the way we can get to the heart of this post, I did have a resit at the start of this term which I passed, however the fact that I had this scary scary test looming all summer didn't do wonders for my nerves. This whole week (This was the first week of classes and the resit was on Monday morning) has been a wired mix of relief, exhaustion, and getting stressed about Term 3, which is widely held as the worst term of vet school at SGU, manly do to it's poor schedule, and high concentration of "difficult" course's. Honestly though I am so Happy to be in term 3 since that means that I am not the total failure that I felt like this summer, I went so far as to try and avoid people that know me because I was afraid that they would ask how vet school was going, and while in my heart I know that they don't care what I do and actually just care about me, my brain is absolutely certain that if people knew how much I struggle with school, and with myself, that they would look down at me like a worm on the hot concrete, with petty and disgust in their eyes as they step over my rapidly drying carcass. Obviously this is just my internal conflict, since I don't think I will ever fill like I deserve any kind of praise, let alone peoples respect, but before you start thinking bla bla bla we have herd this same thing from you ever term, which you have I went back and checked the archives, although I have never stated it so plainly before (side note, Please don't go back and read old post, I promise that they are all worse then even I thought they where when I wrote them), very long story short (no really I cut about 500+ words from this post) that is how I was feeling this summer, It's not like I didn't do all
kinds of fun things this summer, I raced, went to LBL, hung out with my family and animals, but I always had the stress of school
right there in the back of my mind no matter how long I studied it was
never enough to satisfy my own sense of un-accomplishment. That's okay though because I have Family and Friends, and Friends that are Family, and they all accept the facts of who I am, and what I am trying to do with my life, and while most of the people I know back home only know the strong, confident, compassionate, outgoing, well put together me, and nothing of the stressed and struggling me, I know that they would understand and empathize with me, Just like you do. Thanks If it wasn't for you all and the grace of God I don't think I would be capable of tackling what is shaping up to be my hardest Fall ever. Well I suppose I will talk to you again on the 10th of September, Till thin
TTFN
